When Life Is Rough - Part 3
It’s time to ask for help.
What do you do when life is rough? If you’re a follower of Christ, what do you do when your pursuit of Christian maturity keeps calling you onward and upward, to terrain that is steeper and more challenging?
I don’t know about you, but I find myself turning to cliches, pithy sayings, idioms, axioms, prayer, and lots and lots of Scripture when life is rough.
Here’s a truism that I keep in mind when life is rough. (Part 1 can be found here. Part 2 can be found here.)
When the burden is too much for you to bear, you do not need stronger shoulders, you need weaker knees.
When I was 13 or 14, I assembled a ping pong table by myself. We bought it (meaning, my parents bought it) on clearance at KMart over the weekend in anticipation of many long summer nights ahead of us. The big box was sitting in the garage, staring at me, saying "build me, build me." When my dad came home, he was surprised, impressed, and maybe a little disappointed that I beat him to the punch. After saying “good job,” he picked up a screwdriver and started checking every screw. I was appalled.
Ahem, this was 100% me thank you very much. I didn't ask for help because, well, I'm a pretty independent task-oriented person. Dudes offer to carry boxes for me and I decline. Then they ask "the question." Fiercely independent people know "the question." There's no harm in it. It's actually very polite. But for some, it's a bit patronizing. They ask, "are you sure?"
Yep. Pretty sure. Pretty sure I can carry this office equipment while I'm 6 months pregnant. The office has to move floors after all, and there are only so many hands. Pretty sure I can take the stuff I brought with me back to my car. I brought it after all. Pretty sure I can handle this. If I can't, I'll let you know, and I'll ask for help.
Imagine my surprise when I found myself unexpectedly sitting in an ICU hospital waiting room as my healthy dad was dying of meningitis. I had to ask for help. I cried out to the Lord. I asked my friends to pray. I asked my youth group to pray. I left a voicemail on a Christian camp's answering machine asking them to pray.
My dad didn't survive, but my faith in Jesus did. That experience hit home the core of the Gospel message that I need a Savior. I cannot save myself.
So I learned to ask for help. I asked for extensions on my homework assignments. And I got them. And the world did not come crashing down.
As I drew near to God, He drew near to me (James 4:8.)
Years later, when we were robbed, I cried out to the Lord. We never got our stuff back, but God used that season to teach me to pray earnestly and sacrificially. Just a month prior to the robbery, a C&MA missionary to Japan stayed with us for a few days and he told us how he used to rob houses before he came to faith. So I prayed for those who robbed us - still do from time to time. I prayed that they would have a desire for holiness. I prayed that they would come to know Jesus and find freedom in Christ.
When life was at its roughest and darkest point, I reached out to our district superintendent (DS.) I love our denomination. As I’ve said before, denominational life has its ups and downs, but having a network of support has to be on the top ten list of its greatest strengths. Simply confessing how burnt out I was to him was healing. After listening to us, making a follow-up plan, and encouraging us, our DS prayed for us. Something broke. There have only been a few times where I’ve physically felt the ministry of the Holy Spirit - and that was one of them.
When the burden is too much for you to bear, you do not need stronger shoulders, you need weaker knees.
- Dr. Mitch Kim, Pastor of Wellspring Alliance Church in Wheaton IL.[1]
We have asked for help for this church plant more times than we can count. The help we’ve received has looked a lot different than the help we requested. The help has been slower. It’s been behind the scenes. It hasn’t alleviated any of our to-do lists. But it has been a multiplication of loaves and fishes. God has given us exactly what we have needed, and because He’s so kind, abundantly more. He’s given us more of Himself. He has been so near. Don’t get me wrong, we have had rough moments a-plenty in the past seven months. But what a joy. What a joy it is to serve King Jesus.
Now that I'm older, I understand my dad’s wisdom and I appreciate that he checked my work. It’s a process, but my aim is no longer to be fiercely independent but to be fiercely dependent. Fiercely dependent on my knees in prayer and willing to be obedient to whatever He calls me to do, wherever He calls me to go.
The Lord is my helper. Always. What good news it is to know that I’m not alone.
Dr. Mitch Kim, speaking at C&MA US General Council in Long Beach in 2015. I rewatch this sermon on a regular basis and it hits every time. https://legacy.cmalliance.org/video/watch/26868/?autoplay=true
